Most of us love our partners but still need limits. We wonder if setting boundaries will ruin things. That concern comes because we picture boundaries as walls that push people away.

Resentment rarely arrives as a dramatic betrayal. More often, it starts as a tiny wince. Someone loads the dishwasher “wrong” again. Someone assumes dinner will appear. Someone jokes about money, but does not notice the pressure behind the spending. Someone says, “It’s fine,” and means, “I am keeping score now.” Healthy relationships can carry a lot of love and still collect resentment. That is what makes it so confusing. Nothing looks broken from the outside. There may be af

Attachment styles are a hot topic in the world of relationships and personal growth. The idea of categorizing our patterns of connection as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized is appealing—almost as though once you name it, you can fix it and quickly graduate to healthy attachment. However, through my years of working with clients, I’ve found that attachment is much more nuanced than these categories suggest. We’re not locked into one attachment style for life. Instead, we o